Overcoming Fear: A Work In Progress
Overcoming fear is a work in progress for me. This is an intensely personal blog post for me to put out here. I think that’s exactly why I should write it. This is my personal story about overcoming the fear of success in my doTERRA direct sales business.
I didn’t always realize that I was coming from a place of fear in almost everything I did. I just knew that I wasn’t accomplishing the things I wanted to accomplish. No matter what I seemed to do, the things I really wanted constantly eluded me. I have my heart set on becoming Diamond in my doTERRA business. I’ve had this goal from day 1. I couldn’t figure out why other people made it to Diamond in doTERRA in the same amount of time that I didn’t do anything. It felt like everyone else succeeded and I was just stuck. I tried several things, but I never was quite able to see that I was my own worst enemy.
Then I Began Working With Brenda
Maybe you’ve heard me mention my direct sales coach before, Brenda Ster. I don’t know what it was, but when I stumbled across Brenda, and the Socialite Suite, I began to open up to new ideas. I began to see possibilities. Because I have wellness challenges that keep me home most of the time, I had almost given up on my dream of becoming a doTERRA Diamond. I thought “Maybe that just isn’t for me.” But I still had a little spark of hope inside me. When I began taking some of Brenda’s online training courses, I saw possibilities again. You see, Brenda focuses solely on online marketing for direct sales. I realized, “I can still do this if I do it online.”
Jason Bought Me Personal Coaching For My Birthday
In an insane leap of bravery, I set my sights on private business coaching. When Jason asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I said, “I want private coaching with Brenda.” The thing is, I thought I was safe in asking. I didn’t think we could really afford it. And I didn’t think Jay would actually say “Yes.” But he did. And now I was sort of stuck, wasn’t I? Talk about FEAR, I was petrified. I dilly dallied a couple days, and Jason kept encouraging me to do this. I finally emailed Brenda and we set up our first call. As we began working together, I had a lot of resistance. I felt a little defensive and threatened because this was challenging me to grow in new ways. I felt afraid.
We Identified A Fear Of Success
While working with Brenda in private coaching, we identified my major roadblock. I discovered that my biggest hold back was a fear of success. Not a fear of failure, I’ll leap in and try my hand at anything. Trying something new doesn’t scare me. Failure doesn’t scare me. Failing at something just makes me mad and I will do better next time. What petrifies me is when I actually succeed. When I succeed, an ugly little voice says I’m not good enough, and that I don’t deserve success. To shut up that little voice, I was actively self-sabotaging my conscious efforts to succeed! Overcoming fear of success was critical for me to become unstuck in my doTERRA business.
Steps For Overcoming Fear Of Success
I wish there is a magic formula I could give you on how I’m overcoming this fear of success thing. I’m not exactly sure how it works, but I do have to say it’s working. Brenda encouraged me to do things small. Before coaching, I always felt like I could force things. Make it happen. Go big or go home was how I did things. And I constantly fell flat because I was taking on too much at once. Instead, Brenda taught me to celebrate the small wins. And to stop beating myself up for heavens sakes and telling myself I’m not good enough. (said in an appropriate Brenda voice).
Measure And Celebrate The Smallest Success
I began to measure my small successes and recognize them. I began to create reasonable goals, and somewhere along the way, I stopped being intimidated by goals. Every month, I gradually make larger goals. I look at my goals now, and I don’t fear them. I see them as challenges to help me succeed. Mindset shift. In celebrating each small success, I’m building up my tolerance level for the big successes as they come along.
Stepping Back From Becoming Overloaded
Stepping back from being overloaded was really important for me to learn. I used to think I could just plow through the fear and push past it. I could beat it by forcing myself to do the stuff I was afraid of. Except… that didn’t work and backfired every time. I started to take Brenda’s advice to not push. To just let things be. To recognize when I feel overwhelmed or overloaded and at that point to step back.
Don’t Push Past Any Physical Signs Of Overload
When we were talking about overcoming fear, Brenda advised me to look for the physical signs of feeling overloaded. Did my chest feel tight? Was I feeling extra anxious? Did I feel a fight or flight response? Then just step back. Don’t make yourself go there, but instead focus small. If a goal made me begin to feel the fear again, we let it go that month. We focused on the areas that I didn’t feel afraid of my own success and celebrated them. Always slowly building up my tolerance level, and teaching my mind and emotions that success is not something to fear, but to celebrate.
Growing Past Fear
I wish I could say I’m totally past my fear of success. I’m not. However, this blog post is in celebration of all the small (and some big!) milestones to get here. To this moment. To this level of success. And I don’t feel afraid that I enrolled 3 people last month. Not even a twinge. Instead, I’m excited! I don’t feel afraid that I have viral blog posts on Pinterest. I’m even learning not to fear Google Page 1! I don’t feel threatened by anyone else’s success, either, because I am actively celebrating my own. I’m growing. Growing past the fear.
Join Me On Facebook!
Did you enjoy this little glimpse into the “real Betsy” and how I”m working on overcoming fear? Then come join me in my Facebook group! We chat about anything from healthy emotions, to essential oils and just getting to know each other. It’s a warm and safe space and I can’t wait to get to know each other better.