Mommy notes are little snippets of everyday humor that comes from parenting. Enjoy these, and don’t forget to share with a fellow parent! These are real life as a Mom in a series of little notes.
The Mommy Notes Series
Real life as a Mom in the form of little notes… because sometimes if you don’t find the humor, you might cry. So laugh with me over the fun and craziness and often hilarious frustration that goes along with motherhood! Here is the COMPLETE Mommy Notes series. Enjoy, I know you can relate…. and I really hope you giggle.
- Where will I hide my secret candy stash once the kids are able to reach the top shelf?
- Being a Mom is so rewarding. Naptime is the most rewarding, closely followed by bedtime.
- Even though it’s the largest number in your five year old brain, I am not one hundred eighty thousand years old.
- No coffee exists that is large enough to get me through today. This is a job for essential oils.
- Do not lick that. I repeat, DO.NOT.LICK.THAT. I said….
- Do not disturb. I am hiding on the basement steps with my cell phone and Facebook until the kids come looking for me.
- Sunshine, and the sound of the kids’ laughter as they ride bikes. Life isn’t perfect, but there are actually plenty of moments that do feel pretty much that way.
- Family date night is a trip to Wegmans with two kids in tow. Are we exciting, or what?
- I just walked in on my five year old brushing her tooth that fell out… because the tooth fairy doesn’t take dirty teeth.
- Out at Lowes with no kids along, wearing sandals on my feet. Feels like vacation!
- Kept telling the kids to work it out and they finally did. Peace reigned for a full 27.39 seconds. Yes! Mommy wins…
- I must remember. All things are possible with coffee, essential oils, and chocolate. LOTS of chocolate…
- “I have an idea! Let’s go upstairs and jump on the beds!” Magic words, Mommy. Magic words…
- That moment when all is silence and you wonder, “Do I leave them alone and clean up the mess later… Or do I go check on them now and get nothing done?”
- I don’t really know what to say when people ask about my hobbies. I’m a Mom… This means that I enjoy trips to the bathroom by myself and hastily stolen bits of chocolate from my secret candy stash. Are these things called hobbies now?
- I will never forget changing that first dirty diaper. I looked helplessly at the nurse. She looked back at me all beady eyed, and said in a perky voice… “Well, honey… you’re the Mom!” Hm… I guess I am….!!!
- The kids stole my pretty stationary again. I found this page crumpled next to the dog dish.
- Everyone is planning road trips for the summer and I’m over here like “Are you kidding me?” My kids won’t go for any idea that involves sitting over 10 minutes!
- There was a Mommy had an oil and Lemon was his name-o. L-e-m-o-n, L-e-m-o-n, L-e-m-o-n, and Lemon was his name-o…
- Ways that autocorrect destroys the word “kombucha”… Mom bucks, Come bucella, Kombicha… This is a true story. I have never laughed so hard….
- The kids are busy pretending to be hamsters. I am laying down on the couch for six seconds while they don’t need me. Right now, life is pretty good.
- Still potty training. This parenting stuff is not for the weak or faint of heart.
- Ever notice how every day is a big adventure for children? Seeing life through their eyes is one of my favorite things about parenting.
- Storytime. When my kids cuddle close, dig their elbows in my stomach, and fight over who gets closest to the book. Once everyone is finally settled, it turns into one of those moments where we end up happy and kind of squishy inside our hearts.
- Things I never thought I would need to say as a parent…. “Be nice to that frog!”
- Momster: This is what happens to every Mom after she counts to five.
- I like to party. By “party”, I mean I like to take naps and read.
- Be kind to everyone you meet. you never know who lost an argument with a three year old today. Again.
- Boy: A very loud noise with dirt on it. Girl: Much the same definition, except it screeches more often.
- A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute, than most adults can do all day.
- Can’t believe I just said, “Kids, don’t fight over the imaginary trophy!” Mom crazy.
- I work out. Just kidding! I actually chase preschoolers.
- If a woman speaks, and no one is listening, her name is probably “Mom”.
- I do all of my ironing in the dryer!
- Okay kids, it’s safe to come out now… I’ve had my coffee!
- Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put the laundry in the fridge.
- Before being a Mom, I didn’t realize it is possible to ruin someone’s day by giving them the wrong color sippy cup.
- Being a Mom is this constant battle between getting enough sleep, and staying up late to get alone time.
- Happiness is laughing with your kids.
- Going on a trip and need about four outfits. So I packed 36 to be on the safe side…
- Being a Mom has made me so tired, and so happy.
- Not to brag, but today I washed a load of clothes, and even remembered to put them in the dryer right away! Yes!
- I eat salad every day. Bean salad. Coffee bean salad. Fine… I drink coffee every day. Gallons!
- I know we’re good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up before you come over!
- You might be a parent if the words “Pamper Me” make you think of diapers.
- Keep calm. Use essential oils. Pretend the kids are not trashing the whole house.
- Home is where my crazies are.
- Forget about the dog. Beware of the kids!
If you can relate to these, then we were meant to be besties! Come on over to my Facebook group, and let’s hang out. 😊
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